Last Laugh is back with another tale from the haunt! This time a group of Feature Creatures were invited to do a special appearance at an area haunted attraction. So, we loaded up the haunted limo and off we went. I spent the first hour in the clown room getting acclimated, but then decided I had to do what I do best…ROAM!

After a couple of trips through the haunt I noticed an actress in a bloody wedding dress.   She would avoid me and hide her face every time I walked through her scene. After a couple more rounds with the same reaction each time one of the other actors asked me to not walk through there anymore because the girl was deathly afraid of clowns.

Later that night a group of actors and I were taking a break and I noticed the girl in the dress sitting 30 yards away from us on a concrete wall.   She still wouldn't look at me.  Several actors dared me to go scare her.  I creeped across the yard and down the ramp behind her until my head was right beside hers. "What's the matter?  Don't you like clowns?" I yelled.  She was so startled she fell to the ground.  A couple of actors ran over to help her, and she ended up going home for the night.   When the owner asked what happened to her everyone pointed at me.  He shook his head and walked back into the haunt.  

Well that's it for now kiddies.  Stay tuned for my next haunted tale!

LaSt LaUgH

Send Granny an email.

Hello boys and girls,

Well, don’t you all look decidedly dreary. I must say that it does my heart good.

To think you all are doing such a fine job of bringing in this atrocious spring season properly! I dare to say that it is your effort alone that brought about the heaviest snowfall we have seen in ages. You should all be commended.

But sadly, not even your strong disdain can keep that harsh sun and atrocious heat away forever. One of these days, Mother Nature will sneer down upon us all and drown us in bright greens and ghastly-colored flowers and blinding light all day, every day. How disgusting. I ask you, what have we done to be shown such disregard by the powers that be?

We must stay strong, my children. Keep those shutters locked tight and make sure your chimneys are well blocked. And if you have some heavy curtains, be they burlap or black velvet, pull them closed. We mustn’t let any of that nasty sunshine in to scorch our hides, now should we?

If you are forced to make your presence known to the outside world, I suggest as many layers as physically possible. Bulk up, my pets. Our delicate complexions simply cannot abide the sharp stab of sunbeams. Make sure to cover those scars and that spot of blood on the corner of your mouth. It tends to draw the most unsavory sorts. I mean really, do any of us really have time to spend a night in a sweltering, crowded cell? I thought not. If they could promise me a nice, well-mannered mental retreat I would consider it, but one simply does not have the ability to hold my interest otherwise.

So chin up, my darlings. Keep safe to the shadows, in the darkest corners of your homes. Soon the night will fall upon us again, with a chill air stirring our bones and a blood-red Harvest Moon to keep us company.

Decadently Yours,

Ivy VanCrane